Norilsk people: You really see me

Norilsk people: You really see me

My white vail is covering part of my face.

People in Norilsk are not able to see who I really am.

But you do, you can see really see me.

I feel like naked in front of you, but not ashamed.

I can hide in the white snow of Norilsk, but I don´t need to hide from you, 

because you already found me.

Do you see me or do you see the person I pretend to be?

My flaws, my mistakes, my mess.

Do you love me or do you love who you want me to be?

My pain, my anxiety, my brokenness.

Is it truth that you seek or do you prefer the lies we tell each other?

My insecurity, your jealousy, our unwillingness.

You escape to your mind while I escape through wine.

We go back and forth, round and round, stopping only when the damage is done.

Were we really in love or did we fall in love with the idea of being loved?

Our sealed lips, our fake smiles, our ignorance.

What is it that keeps us together?

Is it because we are inseparable or because we are incapable of being alone?

We had everything and nothing, fulfillment and emptiness, love and indifference.

I can’t explain why I kiss strangers lips while yours are the only ones I seek.

I can’t explain why after all the hurt I still fall for you.

I can’t explain why I’m addicted to the pain.

After we fight I long for you to hold me, but after you do I still feel lost.

What is it that makes you stay?

The loss, the regret, the anger.

Tell me why you love me still and I’ll tell you why it hurts to feel.

Give me you or let me go, either way I have to know.
— Laura Eason

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